These May Just Be The Lunatics I'm Looking For

At my job today, I posted a "bleg" (a blog post asking readers for advice on something) about my move to New Orleans.

I was expecting either a flood of crime statistics and essays on how global warming will increase hurricane frequency, or some sensible but cautious advice mixed with the former.

Instead, the comments built a testament to New Orleans that almost matched my wild (slightly "enhanced") rantings to my friends about it. They even got into prose:

On your first morning there, get up early. Go down to Cafe Du Monde, order a cafe au lait and one order, to go - this will cost you about four bucks and net you a cup of strong, milky coffee laced with chicory and a bag containing three beignet and a lot of icing sugar.

Walk away from the street, toward the Moonwalk, but over it, not along it - keep following the paved path back toward the river. Keep the statue of what’s-his-name at your back. When you’ve gone far enough, you’ll see a set of railroad-tie stairs that lead straight down into the Missisippi. Late at night it’s often well populated by sex workers and runaways, in the early morning it’s usually empty and, regardless of your company, quite peaceful.

Uncover your coffee, and use the icing sugar in the bag to sweeten it. Drink it slowly. Eat two of your beignet. Watch the river hurry past to meet the ocean. Listen to the city wake up 100 yeards behind you and yet so muffled it could be last year.

When the coffee and two beignet are gone, roll up the bag containing the last one. Scrawl ‘Enjoy’ on it, and leave it on the steps for when the thrown-out/took-off queer boys roll out from their temporary night’s digs looking for a breeze and a smoke. Go back home to unpack. Be glad to be in New Orleans.

— Posted by S. Bear Bergman

Of course, there were the occasional killjoys:


As a geologist, I gotta say that the single most important thing a new New Orleanean should know is that the ground under the city gets further away from sea level every year. I love New Orleans as a city, but in the medium-term (and definitely the long-term), it’s not a sustainable location unless you want levees that are four stories tall. Until it floods, enjoy it!

— Posted by Callan Bentley

Also plentiful were phrases like, "gets into your blood," and "you'll never leave," which would creep me out in any other context.

Yet I still can't completely believe in the existence of a whole city of people detached from the American norm -- hopefully, it's just because I've been walking around in Chelsea too much.

I also got a lot of congratulations, like I won something.

I'm jumping up and down, to be sure, but no premature ecstatic squeals until I see for myself what's behind Door Number 1.